I love that moment when I make a decision! I feel taller, stronger and faster! So, I’ve written a couple and archived one blog post on the Modern Mrs. Darcy book club led by Anne Bogel and the MMD team. I’ve tried most of the things: the online lives, the discussion forums, the meetup and in-persons, the Postal Book Club and what I’m left with are the recommendations which essentially are Anne and the team’s picks from the publisher’s catalogs which I can find and figure out for myself.
The more I hung around and sampled, the thought occurred, “I don’t belong here and being here means adhering to a certain set of branded behaviors.” This is why I wondered for a while if this online community could also be called a cult because so many aspects are cult-like. There’s the “worship-the-leader” approach and it’s activated by way of coded language and copycat behaviors—because everyone wants to be anointed by Anne so that they can be seen by everyone else. I won’t revisit my prior blog comments, but instead will mention a couple of great reads as well as a fun podcast that enhances my thinking on what the MMD book club which to me feels like a bunch of gathered, lonely women, who become girlish when gathered. These girly gals seek connection and acknowledgements by their peers—in this case fellow readers. Also, it’s best to be some type of Christian in the MMD book club so you can have your name read from the comments, and if you’re any other kind of non-white non-Christian, best not put too many words to that… Or so it felt anyway…
So you might understand where I’m coming from with my emancipation from the MMD book club, take a look at Cultish by Amanda Montell. Cultish demonstrates to readers how Multi-Level Marketing companies use cult tactics to create pyramid schemes and sell plastics, exercise, supplements, cosmetics and more. Montell, a linguist also wrote, Wordslut: A Feminist Guide to Taking Back the English Language and soon to be released, The Age of Magical Overthinking: Notes on Modern Irrationality. Montell, whose father grew up and emancipated himself from a California cult has firsthand expertise on cult indoctrination, participation and de- programming as told to her by her very own father. Montell examines cultish companies from a linguistic perspective to see how cults do these things using language. (Read my review on Cultish and you’ll find it on my homepage just look for the cover). Montell also has a fun podcast, Sounds Like a Cult in which she explores everything from Peloton communities to Chiropractor obsessed people. On the podcast, Montell interviews experts or practitioners and looks at individuals gather, train, sustain, and maintain, groups of people whose identities hinge on investment and near obsessive participation in whatever someone is individually benefiting from while exerting power of others to work on behalf of themselves to sustain their leader or healer. From a legal perspective I wish to be clear in saying that MMD is NOT a cult because it’s not. However, it can be viewed and felt like to me that it’s cultish in that MMD gathers people, seduces them into staying, makes it challenging to leave from an emotional standpoint, and uses language to create insiders. Also, it keeps Anne going on her mission to help people find themselves, find a way to keep reading and not feel bad about hoarding books. It’s Cult-ish…
Montell’s podcast concludes with choosing from 3 types of cults, “Live Your Life” which is harmless, “Watch Your Back” there’s consequences for leaving and for staying not playing, and “Get The Fuck Out” which by the phrase of it is dangerous—QANON or Scientology…
At the end of the day, MMD is not a cult, but it’s not for me either. I canceled my membership. From hundreds of recommendations, I read one book with the community, “Lillian Boxfish Takes A Walk” which the leader reads annually with her family and now she invites the members to participate in her tradition. I did enjoy the book although I don’t get the annual re-reading of it.. It’s kind of sad, kind of Scroogelike I guess. It does portray women as executives and challenge ageism, but I don’t know for sure if I’d re-read it again.
The other activities I tried off the MMD platform were equally glass-half-empty scenarios… The meetup ended up being a struggle with one woman’s disorganization, one woman’s guilt, one woman’s introversion, and one woman who wanted to learn from other women about their reading experience of the book that we shared. What I learned was that they read but did not retain the book we shared and so I had to tease their comprehension from their brains like a snake charmer. The Postal Book Club is equally a wash… It’s a great idea. Everyone chooses a prompt, finds a book that speaks to the prompt, reads, journals and forwards a book to a person who forwards it to 5 others. Over a 6 months to a year, one’s book and journal travel from person to person one day returning home to oneself. The first one I got was not my jam—too kinky with weird power dynamics between adult and young person. I simply hated and did not finish it. I sent it onward and the next book has yet to come. The organizer has vanished too. I’m moving on and I wonder if I’ll ever get my book and journal back… People aren’t who they pretend to be on the platform. It’s kind of funny and kind of sad really. This reminds me of shopping for clothes online, and when you get your order, it looks and fits nothing like the picture (even if you used a tape measure to ensure the right fit). Speaking plainly, the Modern Mrs. Darcy book club is not for me. If Amanda Montell is asking me, “What kind of cult might you call this?” I’d have to answer a “Live Your Life” cult and this is what I plan on doing. CANCELED.
Bookisshh 